This weekend, I have been able to finally get to spend time with Kelsie, Tomy's daughter. We have custody of both her and Piper, however, she has not been with us at home for 6 months and won't be home until at least the end of January :(
I have missed her so much. I love getting to go out and try on clothes and shoes and play and have fun. We talked and ate, and played and in general, had a really good time. Despite how much I love Piper, sometimes, Piper cannot understand what I'm talking about and doesn't always understand the things that are going on... that's no fault of hers, but, it's more like because she's 6. Kelsie is 16. I am glad that Kelsie will be home soon. She's got such a great sense of humor, and though she's a kid, she's much more mature than I was at 16. She's had a rough go at it, and I am so glad that I get to be a good influence in her life. I often wonder if I am a good influence, because I sometimes forget that she's a kid and I'm technically a grow-up. She's so smart and tries so hard to make everyone happy.
This afternoon, we went to get pictures with Santa. Piper dressed up in her new Christmas dress and new tennis shoes (she was so upset that she had to wear those shoes) and Kelsie looked so nice in a green top, jeans, and a black vest. We looked around my old salon, I love that place, and found a few little things for Kelsie. I know that I shouldn't be spending so much money on her, but, I can't seem to help it. Between her and Piper, I think they are going to put us in the poor house, but, that's OK. I enjoy being able to do something fun like this for both of them.
After that, we came back home and started to clean and clean and clean some more. Then, off to a birthday party of one of our friends. We had hamburgers and chips, and overall it was a good afternoon. Kelsie wanted to spend the night with her friend, and her dad said no. I feel like sometimes I get put in the middle of them, one asks me to do something, and I hate having to tell her no. I understand the reason, and I did embellish a little bit with the reason for why she couldn't stay. She understood in the end, and that's good.
However, now, I have the happy task of talking to her about some of the changes that are going to have to happen when she comes home. They aren't going to be fun for Kelsie, but, it's something that has to be done. I understand and Tomy and I talked about these for a while tonight. I get it, and when I was that age, I got a job in order to find some sort of freedom at my house. And we are not opposed to letting her get a job. Minimum wage when I started was $5.25 and hour and started to go up from there. If she's serious about getting to Europe, then I don't see her getting a job as anything that is going to be a bad thing. She likes to work. And wants to get a job... should make this conversation a bit easier.
The other thing that was excited for me today, was Tomy telling me that I needed to work on my story a bit every day and to get it done. He supports me in getting my little story done. That just made my whole night! I love it!!! Can't wait to get the outline done, so I can start to fill in the details. So, here I go, hopefully done within the month... Then to find a publisher who will take this one... Wish me luck!
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Thursday, December 6, 2012
The computer
This week, I have not been on my computer as much as I would like to have been... so much to say, so little time that I have to write. I have to say, it's not because the computer was down or because I am without the Internet. It's really because when I am home and the computer is home and Tomy is home, he is on the computer. And I wish that I could say that he was doing a lot of research for a book that he is writing. But that is not the case. He's just doing whatever on it. And while I'm not against him being on the computer, but, it's starting to take over. We were gone on Sunday, came home late, midnight, and he had to write an email that really couldn't wait, so he got on the computer. He said that he was going to finish checking his email. I could see over his shoulder that there were only like 5 or 6, no big deal. At 2 am he finally comes to bed. On Monday, we get home and he gets on the computer around dinner, and then proceeds to use the computer while we are sitting at the dinner table eating. I even asked if he could please leave it alone while we are eating, and he moves it out of the way, but continues to play on it. Grrr... By Tuesday, I am wanting to show him something online and I made a nasty comment about how he's always on the puter and that he can go to work and use the ones there... OK, not the right thing to say, I know, but, I was so frustrated. It's as though since we have had the Internet, he's always on the computer. Though what I had wanted to say didn't come out quite as well as I wanted it to, I didn't realize my grave mistake until I had been at work for more than two hours. At this point, I sent him a text saying I was sorry. I wanted to call, and rightly, I should have, but I didn't. I said I was sorry and please forgive me and the implications that my remark had made. It's not at all what I really think goes on.
I finish up at work and I get home. By this time, he has not said anything to me and I am at my wits end trying to not have this horrible guilt complex, feeling like I have hurt the feelings of someone that I love. I got home, and things seem pretty good. Piper is playing and so I give her a kiss and walk over to Tomy and he gives me a quick kiss and we talk a little and things seem mostly normal. I told him about a job that I thought he would like to do, and we start to talk about the benefits of it.
Tomy says that if we have to, we will do a domestic partnership... or we might have to get married... This is a very taboo subject. Not something that either of us are really willing think about at this point... He says, "If we have to get married, I want to wear a dress. You can be Liza." I don't want to be Liza!!! I want to wear a dress too!! Maybe a nice white sundress with blue trim, pretty, simple, would look great with me wearing it on the beach (I already have the dress. I bought it a while ago, just never wore it... Maybe for Christmas I will... Hmmmmm..).
So, by now, in the evening, I am super confused about the whole day. I get Piper into bed and I get my stuff done for the night... dishes, shower, that kind of stuff. I lay down in bed, and Tom comes to lay down too. He still hasn't said anything to me about the day or the comment that I made. In fact, I figure that he's still a bit unhappy with me. He does reach over with his toes, so I know that he's not all that mad at me, however, there was no snuggling this night; I just fell asleep.
The next day goes by and about the time I leave work, I call him and he asks if I got him email. I hadn't checked it for over an hour, so no, I didn't see his email. So, I head over to his office, and I get on a computer and check his email. It was a nice little note saying that he had accepted my apology. I did feel a lot better at that point. It was so strange to think that I had hurt his feelings so badly.
My thought about men is this... Men, we are taught, are suppose to be these tough, hardened people who can take anything, and woman, we are taught, are suppose to be these delicate creatures that get offended by everything... Yet, this is so not the case!
At least, not in my case. Tomy is the hardened man with the exterior that one would think is unbreakable, yet, he's like melted marshmallows on the inside. And I have much thicker skin that what I ever used to! It amazes me the differences that men and women are so different than what we originally thought. I"m lucky to have a man that is all squishy in the middle. I love my Tomy! He's an amazing man.
I finish up at work and I get home. By this time, he has not said anything to me and I am at my wits end trying to not have this horrible guilt complex, feeling like I have hurt the feelings of someone that I love. I got home, and things seem pretty good. Piper is playing and so I give her a kiss and walk over to Tomy and he gives me a quick kiss and we talk a little and things seem mostly normal. I told him about a job that I thought he would like to do, and we start to talk about the benefits of it.
Tomy says that if we have to, we will do a domestic partnership... or we might have to get married... This is a very taboo subject. Not something that either of us are really willing think about at this point... He says, "If we have to get married, I want to wear a dress. You can be Liza." I don't want to be Liza!!! I want to wear a dress too!! Maybe a nice white sundress with blue trim, pretty, simple, would look great with me wearing it on the beach (I already have the dress. I bought it a while ago, just never wore it... Maybe for Christmas I will... Hmmmmm..).
So, by now, in the evening, I am super confused about the whole day. I get Piper into bed and I get my stuff done for the night... dishes, shower, that kind of stuff. I lay down in bed, and Tom comes to lay down too. He still hasn't said anything to me about the day or the comment that I made. In fact, I figure that he's still a bit unhappy with me. He does reach over with his toes, so I know that he's not all that mad at me, however, there was no snuggling this night; I just fell asleep.
The next day goes by and about the time I leave work, I call him and he asks if I got him email. I hadn't checked it for over an hour, so no, I didn't see his email. So, I head over to his office, and I get on a computer and check his email. It was a nice little note saying that he had accepted my apology. I did feel a lot better at that point. It was so strange to think that I had hurt his feelings so badly.
My thought about men is this... Men, we are taught, are suppose to be these tough, hardened people who can take anything, and woman, we are taught, are suppose to be these delicate creatures that get offended by everything... Yet, this is so not the case!
At least, not in my case. Tomy is the hardened man with the exterior that one would think is unbreakable, yet, he's like melted marshmallows on the inside. And I have much thicker skin that what I ever used to! It amazes me the differences that men and women are so different than what we originally thought. I"m lucky to have a man that is all squishy in the middle. I love my Tomy! He's an amazing man.
Shopping days, shopping days
After picking up Piper yesterday from school, we decided that we would go to Kmart, not a lot of choices up here, and it's the closest to the house, to see what we could find that would be suitable to hang keys on next to the front door... I think Lowe's would have been a better bet for that.
As we begin to look through the hardware section that they have, I find what we were looking for and begin to wonder aimlessly through the store a little bit. I have had a hard time trying to keep Piper with me and stay with me if we don't have a cart, so I leave her in the charge of Tomy. They start to go look at toys and that was fun for both of them :)
Pretty soon, Piper says that she has to use the bathroom. Tom had told her that if they left the toy department, they wouldn't be going back.. a bit mean, but, no worries really. So, she waits as long as she can and grabs me and says she must go to the restroom right now. We walk over there, and by now, she's a big enough girl that she can go into the restroom and do her business and wash her hands by herself.. such a big girl! So, we wait, and wait, and wait! After what seems like a million years, I go in to check on her, and she's just drying her hands. Cool. Next, it's over to the shoes, since they are on sale this week. I find a great little pair of sneakers that she tries on and actually likes! I tell Tom that he needs to look at shoes as well to see if there are any there that suit his needs. He tells me that there is nothing that he can find that will work for him, and what about me... what about me? I know that I don't need shoes, and that if I did get some, they would be boots or heels and I really have no place to wear them, as of yet! So Tom asks me if I really need this really nice pair of heeled boots, they were beautiful... would've gone great with a nice gray skirt and button down the front shirt... We ended getting another pair of shoes for Piper instead.
Yet, as I was wondering through the store, I thought of how I felt about the whole shopping event at that moment. It was as if shopping with sister.. a thing I absolutely hate doing. Not because of the company, but because I hate going to a store and realizing that I don't have the money to procure anything that I really want.
And then it hit me! That whole idea and mentality is exactly what I am trying to stop doing. So in that moment, I decided that I will no longer think that I can't have something because I don't have the money for it. I will think like the independently wealthy think.. I have the means to purchase everything that I need, but more importantly, everything that I want!!
I have done a vision board recently, my favorite part of it is the money tree on it. I little money tree with a one dollar bill that has several zero's behind it. On the border around it, I have written Money flows easily and frequently to me. On my next one, the one that I want for my career, I am going to have the same idea, except I will include that I can buy anything that I want, for any reason, without guilt! And I will!!! Maybe not this week, or next, but, soon... very soon indeed!
As we begin to look through the hardware section that they have, I find what we were looking for and begin to wonder aimlessly through the store a little bit. I have had a hard time trying to keep Piper with me and stay with me if we don't have a cart, so I leave her in the charge of Tomy. They start to go look at toys and that was fun for both of them :)
Pretty soon, Piper says that she has to use the bathroom. Tom had told her that if they left the toy department, they wouldn't be going back.. a bit mean, but, no worries really. So, she waits as long as she can and grabs me and says she must go to the restroom right now. We walk over there, and by now, she's a big enough girl that she can go into the restroom and do her business and wash her hands by herself.. such a big girl! So, we wait, and wait, and wait! After what seems like a million years, I go in to check on her, and she's just drying her hands. Cool. Next, it's over to the shoes, since they are on sale this week. I find a great little pair of sneakers that she tries on and actually likes! I tell Tom that he needs to look at shoes as well to see if there are any there that suit his needs. He tells me that there is nothing that he can find that will work for him, and what about me... what about me? I know that I don't need shoes, and that if I did get some, they would be boots or heels and I really have no place to wear them, as of yet! So Tom asks me if I really need this really nice pair of heeled boots, they were beautiful... would've gone great with a nice gray skirt and button down the front shirt... We ended getting another pair of shoes for Piper instead.
Yet, as I was wondering through the store, I thought of how I felt about the whole shopping event at that moment. It was as if shopping with sister.. a thing I absolutely hate doing. Not because of the company, but because I hate going to a store and realizing that I don't have the money to procure anything that I really want.
And then it hit me! That whole idea and mentality is exactly what I am trying to stop doing. So in that moment, I decided that I will no longer think that I can't have something because I don't have the money for it. I will think like the independently wealthy think.. I have the means to purchase everything that I need, but more importantly, everything that I want!!
I have done a vision board recently, my favorite part of it is the money tree on it. I little money tree with a one dollar bill that has several zero's behind it. On the border around it, I have written Money flows easily and frequently to me. On my next one, the one that I want for my career, I am going to have the same idea, except I will include that I can buy anything that I want, for any reason, without guilt! And I will!!! Maybe not this week, or next, but, soon... very soon indeed!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)