The computer

This week, I have not been on my computer as much as I would like to have been... so much to say, so little time that I have to write.  I have to say, it's not because the computer was down or because I am without the Internet.  It's really because when I am home and the computer is home and Tomy is home, he is on the computer.  And I wish that I could say that he was doing a lot of research for a book that he is writing. But that is not the case.  He's just doing whatever on it.  And while I'm not against him being on the computer, but, it's starting to take over.  We were gone on Sunday, came home late, midnight, and he had to write an email that really couldn't wait, so he got on the computer.  He said that he was going to finish checking his email. I could see over his shoulder that there were only like 5 or 6, no big deal.  At 2 am he finally comes to bed.  On Monday, we get home and he gets on the computer around dinner, and then proceeds to use the computer while we are sitting at the dinner table eating.  I even asked if he could please leave it alone while we are eating, and he moves it out of the way, but continues to play on it.  Grrr... By Tuesday, I am wanting to show him something online and I made a nasty comment about how he's always on the puter and that he can go to work and use the ones there... OK, not the right thing to say, I know, but, I was so frustrated.  It's as though since we have had the Internet, he's always on the computer. Though what I had wanted to say didn't come out quite as well as I wanted it to, I didn't realize my grave mistake until I had been at work for more than two hours.  At this point, I sent him a text saying I was sorry. I wanted to call, and rightly, I should have, but I didn't.  I said I was sorry and please forgive me and the implications that my remark had made.  It's not at all what I really think goes on. 

I finish up at work and I get home.  By this time, he has not said anything to me and I am at my wits end trying to not have this horrible guilt complex, feeling like I have hurt the feelings of someone that I love.  I got home, and things seem pretty good.  Piper is playing and so I give her a kiss and walk over to Tomy and he gives me a quick kiss and we talk a little and things seem mostly normal.  I told him about a job that I thought he would like to do, and we start to talk about the benefits of it. 
Tomy says that if we have to, we will do a domestic partnership... or we might have to get married... This is a very taboo subject.  Not something that either of us are really willing think about at this point... He says, "If we have to get married, I want to wear a dress.  You can be Liza." I don't want to be Liza!!! I want to wear a dress too!! Maybe a nice white sundress with blue trim, pretty, simple, would look great with me wearing it on the beach (I already have the dress.  I bought it a while ago, just never wore it... Maybe for Christmas I will... Hmmmmm..).

So, by now, in the evening, I am super confused about the whole day.  I get Piper into bed and I get my stuff done for the night... dishes, shower, that kind of stuff.  I lay down in bed, and Tom comes to lay down too.  He still hasn't said anything to me about the day or the comment that I made.  In fact, I figure that he's still a bit unhappy with me.  He does reach over with his toes, so I know that he's not all that mad at me, however, there was no snuggling this night; I just fell asleep. 

The next day goes by and about the time I leave work, I call him and he asks if I got him email.  I hadn't checked it for over an hour, so no, I didn't see his email.  So, I head over to his office, and I get on a computer and check his email.  It was a nice little note saying that he had accepted my apology.  I did feel a lot better at that point.  It was so strange to think that I had hurt his feelings so badly. 
My thought about men is this... Men, we are taught, are suppose to be these tough, hardened people who can take anything, and woman, we are taught, are suppose to be these delicate creatures that get offended by everything... Yet, this is so not the case!

At least, not in my case. Tomy is the hardened man with the exterior that one would think is unbreakable, yet, he's like melted marshmallows on the inside.  And I have much thicker skin that what I ever used to! It amazes me the differences that men and women are so different than what we originally thought.  I"m lucky to have a man that is all squishy in the middle.  I love my Tomy! He's an amazing man.